To succeed or fail in marriage is a function of your mind. A successful marriage doesn’t start from the altar, it begins in the mind. Are you aspiring to succeed in marriage? if yes, then you will need to change the following mindset before you say “I do”.
- Marriage is necessary evil. What you programme into your mind is what you will download in marriage. though, many people believe that marriage is necessary evil that is why majority were experiencing evil in their marriage but be part of the few who enjoy good and favour in their own marriage by thinking right that marriage is necessary goodness.
- Cohabitation is not bad. Cohabitation is living together with your fiancé /fiancée in the same room when you are yet to marry. This is very wrong as a Christian. Most of the time, this lead to a delayed wedding and broken relationships as the guy has enjoyed the “food” he didn’t pay for. Don’t move into his house if he has not married you legally. If you do, you are committing fornication.
- Trial marriage is good. Just like cohabitation, it’s living together of two engaged singles with the mind to test if they can live together in love and harmony. They believe that if they can live together without misunderstanding then they can get married as husbands and wives but if not, then they will break the relationship since it’s just a trial. Please don’t engage in this evil act. Marriage is not by trial, it is a lifetime commitment. To know the fellow very well before the wedding, take time to court for at least 6months-2years.
- Marriage is punishment for men. “He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour from the Lord”. Marriage was not instituted to be a punishment for men. Those who are experiencing punishment in their own marriage have missed it somewhere and they need to sit down and find out where they got it wrong. Your own case is different; marriage to you is a blessing and favour from the Lord.
- Marriage is slavery for women. Marriage is not a prison yard, so it cannot imprison a woman. Those who run the Women Liberation Movement were set of women who cannot submit to their husbands, career women who cannot live with their husbands because they are rulers at the workplace and they also want to rule their husband and their family which is wrong. As you are preparing for marriage, make up your mind to be a submissive wife and you will become the number one influence in the life of your husband.
- Marriage is for child making. Marriage is not just a baby factory, it is beyond that. It is for companionship, love, unity, friendship, preservation of destinies, among others. Though child making is one of the purposes but it is not exclusively meant for that.
- “It’s wrong to reveal secrets to your wife”. And they were both naked and not ashamed”. I want you to go into marriage with the fact that you and your spouse were one single entity. If you know that you are, you will not hide anything from your wife. Your spouse should be your confidant. you can hide your secrets from others but not from your wife. Your wife is you in a male gender. Share your pain, fears, success and failure together.
- Women are necessary evils. Although, their lots of women who were thorns in the flesh of their husbands but virtuous woman is none of them. Your own wife is a virtuous woman who will be a plus and not a curse in your life. She will do you good all the days of your life.
- Men cannot be trusted. In marriage, don’t generalize issues. Some men were not trustworthy likewise we have trustworthy men. Make up your mind to trust and marry a trustworthy man because you can’t love somebody you don’t trust in marriage. Marriage without trust will be rocky.
- A woman needs to be beaten to come to her right senses. As a young man planning to enter into marriage, you must have seen married men beats their wives, don’t copy them. It’s only an animal-like man that beats his wife. When you beat a woman, you release wrong senses into her head. If you beat a woman she will embarrass you. Wise men don’t beat women; they pamper them. Great husbands are not wife-beaters. Nail your hand to the cross and never raise your hand to beat your wife.
- I want my mothers-in-law to die before marrying her son because all mothers-in-law are bad. In the process of time, you will become a mother-in-law too, do you pray to die before your son get married? If no, don’t wish your potential mother-in-law death. All mothers-in-law are not bad. Seek knowledge to win your mother-in-law before you marry her son. Also, make up your mind to accept her and treat her like your biological mother.
