No matter how long the Courtship,if you like date/court for 15 years, you will never acquire ABSOLUTE Knowledge about your partner till you finally get married to them and start living together as a couple within the four walls of a house where pretence becomes difficult.
There’s a BIG DIFFERENCE between hanging out 4,5,6 hours every two days on the average, or once a week, chatting seemingly endlessly daily,
AND actually living together, sleeping on the same bed, waking up next to each other everyday and seeing each other at your best AND WORST.
Some People use the toilet and don’t flush.
Some love to scatter clothes and things everywhere without a care in the world.
There are Women who soak undies for days before they are Led by their spirit to wash them.
Some prefer to sleep with the lights fully on, some only sleep with the lights off.
Some love to sleep with the Fan/Ac on even in the middle of Harmatan, even when they are shaking, while some others prefer the Fan/Ac off even if the weather is burning hot.
Some Men prefer their wives to sleep stark naked without anything on (mbok, don’t ask me why), while some Women prefer to tie bouba and wrapper with gele to bed.
Marriage will come with its own SURPRISE PACKAGES and NEW CHALLENGES that all the romantic feelings, Courtship, and Marriage counseling classes in the world may not fully prepare you for.
You’ll discover new/cool/weird/odd things you never expected about your partner after you marry them. And about yourself too.
You’ll need 3 things
1) COMMUNICATION
Know how to Listen and Talk about issues on ground with utmost MATURITY, at the right time, using right words and with the right manner.
2) COMPROMISE
Learn how to shift ground and find middle grounds where everyone is satisfied.
Don’t seek for “MY” way, but “OUR” way. You’re married and now plural, you’re no longer singular.
3) ADJUSTMENT
Avoid “I cannot change, this is how I’ve always done it.”
If you maintain a rigid and rugged stance on issues all the time, your marriage can/will give way.
Be fluid, malleable, flexible and adaptable in life.
Be Humble, know how to take correction, to learn new things and unlearn old things and your Marriage will Last.
